My latest column about four meat dishes that need to be deleted from menus worldwide has gone live on the New Times blog (they’ve moved my digital publish day to Mondays).
As always, you local kids can read it in the paper on Thursday.
723YR26F59PJ <- Irritating blog claim token in an attempt to fix my mis-claimed blog on Technorati.
Geek jeans from Europe have a place for everything. Yes, everything.
You just can’t stand keeping your iPhone or iPod Touch in that crappy, standard issue jeans pocket, can you? And the memory stick you carry around that has your KeePass password database and a hacked version of Windows Ultimate? You need a safe place for that too, don’t you?
WTFJeans has got you covered, and then some. Their new pair of pants has an iPhone/iPod pocket that’s “easy in, easy out,” and has a micro-fiber liner to protect and serve. Then there’s the hidden memory stick pocket to keep all your critical data and encrypted porn close.
But perhaps the most interesting thing of all doesn’t pad your electronic gizmos, it pads your flesh gizmo. That’s right, for some reason they’ve added extra padding in the crotch to give you a nice wang snuggle, and it works whether you dress right or left.
They’ve even stitched a huge outline down there too, either to imply you’ve got a mammoth unit or to provide targeting assistance for the chick you just insulted after getting wigged out on too much Mountain Dew.
Read how to keep pregnant women and El Chupacabras at bay with tasty Mexican foods, in this week’s Meatist. Online now, in print in the New Times this Thursday.
It’s close to midnight, and I’m driving through a deserted commerce park in Jupiter. I’m trying to follow sketchy directions on my phone’s voicemail that end with the phrase, “Call me when you’re lost.” Not an issue: I head towards the wall of sound coming from a unit in back, and I’m at Lavola’s practice space.
Julian Cires, Brian Weinthal, and Matt Hanser (yes, he's out of focus, fuck you) are Lavola.
I tap on the tinted glass when it quiets down a bit, and Julian Cires cautiously open the door. “We never know who’s wandering around out there,” he says. Entry wins me an immediate offer of ear protection from bassist Matt Hanser. ”Do I look that old?” I think, then see singer/guitarist Julian’s Orange amp head and Matt’s Ampeg bass rig and accept, hoping to keep my eardrums from being pushed into my brain.
I’m struck by the distinct lack of beer cans on the floor or pot smoke in the air, and there’s not an enormous saucer-like pupil in the room. These guys are here to play music, not to fuck around like a bunch of high school kids that just discovered how bitchin’ weed is.
I settle onto a crappy Peavy amp someone left over in the corner, the band starts to play, and the room transforms. It’s not that the music is just loud, it’s hella-loud. It’s a hugely physical experience: I’m getting it in the stomach (no brown notes, thankfully), the chest, the head. It’s so immersive that it’s like tripping, which is fun for a while unless the music sucks. But it doesn’t: it’s really, really good.
Cires and Hanser had played in bands together when they were in high school, but that ended when both left for college. Hanser headed to Colorado to study business, “I was a train wreck,” he says of his time there, Cires to Tallahassee to study creative writing. “It was a compromise,” he says of his major, “A great compromise, but a compromise.” During his time at school, though, Cires began pursuing what he really wanted to be doing.
“I didn’t have many friends in Tallahassee, maybe one or two. It was mostly playing guitar, night and day.” And songwriting, he says, which “was the first thing in my life that I can remember actually being proud of.”
Lavola formed after Cires sent Hanser an email one spring that read: “Hey, I got a Vox. Wanna play this summer?” They got together and recorded a four song EP, but weren’t a full band until drummer Brian Weinthal, of “call me when you’re lost” fame, arrived this winter via an ad in Craig’s list. “I called Julian and said there was a kid that was planning on moving to New York, but that he’d stay if we let him join the band,” says Hanser. “And he rocked,” adds Cires.
Adding a second guitarist, though, didn’t go quite as smoothly. No one that they auditioned fit; most sucked out loud. “I shoulda known from the mullet,” Cires mutters after one particularly talentless douche departs.
A moment came during one of those practices that pretty much said it all. Lavola were trying out guitar player number four (or was it five?), who was sitting down noodling with his Telecaster, trying to find something to play. Matt and Julian slowly moved towards Brian’s kit, the group of three closing up together, the fourth outside the circle.
The process had turned out to be positive. It had helped push the core three together, crystallize who Lavola were, build chemistry between band mates. Ultimately they dropped the idea of adding a fourth. And that’s a good thing, because it’s that chemistry, combined with their huge sound and singer Cires’s emotional connection to the material that make Lavola so worth seeing.
I dug out my notes from the first practice I sat in on and I found the following scratched on page one: “British Sea Power, J. Mascais, Peter Gabriel, Jeff Mangum, Pixies,” and also “fucking cool.” I also found: “Rhythm section needs to lock up better. Focus on listening to each other. Build chemistry.”
When I stopped by a practice a couple of nights ago though, things had changed. The three guys playing music in a deserted commerce park in the middle of the night had become a band. And they played like monsters. That night, I even skipped the ear protection.
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FREE MP3:
If you want to hear Lavola for yourself, visit their MySpace page, or make it easy by grabbing this free download of Lavola’s song, “The Philosopher’s Daughter.”
Fair warning: Lavola has grown. If you catch an upcoming show (and you should) be prepared for something much, much bigger. Personally, I’d love to drag their asses into the studio and get some recordings of the new line up…..
Live Show: Lavola play tonight, Friday, Feb 26, at Respectable Street Cafe in West Palm Beach. Doors open at 9 PM, opening act is Now Breathers. And it’s free, so you have no excuse for missing it.
I love writing my weekly column for New Times. But there’s more to life than meat (not much more, but more). Which explains why I’ve cracked open my American Express points-bank and cashed in for a ticket to Austin next month: I’m covering SXSW, bitches!
If you know what SXSW is, I’m guessing I don’t need to explain why covering it for the paper is awsomeness incarnate (if you don’t, then go check it out), but I will anyway.
Imagine five days of great music, great food, and margaritas. Now add in spending time with bands like Rogue Wave, Karnivool, and a bunch of others, then writing about it. And since I’m not really a traditional, boring interview kinda guy (but you knew that already, didn’t you?) it’s going to be about hanging out, then telling the story. Which is good for me, for the bands, and for anyone reading my stuff (do we really need yet another flurry of boring, cliched, cookie cutter reports from a music festival, written by people who’s primary goals seems to be proving that they know more than you? No, my brother, we do not).
So all that’s great. But it gets better: because not only will I get to see bands I already know are great, I get to discover worthwhile bands that I didn’t know a damn thing about, then tell everyone who will listen to check them out. And that starts here, now, with Crash Kings.
The publicist for Karnivool turned me on to them (yeah, yeah, she’s their publicist too, but you can’t fault the chick for doing her job), and they just do not suck. First of all, they’re a three piece with no guitar: like the brilliant Joe Jackson album Rain (which, I should note, Crash Kings do not sound like) it’s a piano/bass/drums thing.
And at times, it’s a huge piano/bass/drums thing. If you’re looking for a list of sound-alikes though, sorry, I’m not really into playing that game (and you can hear what they sound like for yourself on their site). There’s something inherently great about a three piece, and the fact that singer/keyboardist Tony Beliveau rocks one of the coolest Clavinets I’ve ever seen (see video below for more on that) just makes the whole thing better.
Second, they’re really good song writers, and they have that whole written-on-a-keyboard-not-a-guitar thing going for them, which is tits. Plus, Beliveau can actually sing without using Satan’s tool (that’d be Auto-Tune, not devil dick), so fuck you, Taylor Swift.
Third, well, just check out the video below. Beliveau is playing that Clavinet I mentioned before, according to the band one of only 12 in existence with a whammy bar. But it’s not just about the Clav: according to their publicist, they really dig vintage gear in general (apparently the studio they tracked in is filled with it), which earns them huge points (redeemable for exactly nothing, but points nonetheless).
I’ll get back with the full story of hanging out, and how they were live (though if the videos on their site are any indication, they’ll be great) once I hit Austin. I’ll also be filling in the spaces between my pieces for New Times with reviews, stories and updates right here (you’ll note the new SXSW category in the header)
In the meantime, enjoy the video and go grab their album.
My current column for New Times talks about why I hate the term “gastropub,” and then gives you three great types of burgers to make in your very own home. Online now, in print Thursday.
Tea Party protesters go to Burger King for sliders
If there’s one thing that makes me want to bitch-slap the trustafarians whining about Starbucks, it’s this:
Yesterday, on the 31st anniversary of the Iranian Revolution, anti-Ahmadinejad protests took place throughout the country. Not so long ago, what went on at protests in countries like Iran was kept from the eyes of the rest of the world (hint: the cops and army fucked people up). This year though, despite the fact that Gmail was blocked in Iran, hundreds of videos have been posted to YouTube that show violent clashes between the protesters and police forces.
And standing up to the government in places like Iran isn’t quite the same as holding up a sign in front of the White House. These people have huge balls, and regularly getting beaten, shot, or disappeared.
So before you paint humans in the Middle East with too broad a brush (and before you talk about the “incredible bravery” of people like those Sea Shepherd douches), you might want to take a look at that YouTube playlist of Iranian videos. A warning though: in a lot of them, the police do exactly what you’d expect, and it’s not pretty (the video embedded here is on the tame side – relatively).
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