There’s a new slogan up on my neighborhood church advertising board already. This is the same god marquee that I mentioned a couple of days ago. As near as I could tell, the saying they had running then was simply reminding people that they had made a good call if they had gone with christianity; basically selling past the close.
Tonight’s slogan is a bit odd as well; it suggests that hanging out with the devil is a bad idea, as if Rosemary’s Baby, The Omen, and American Idol’s success weren’t enough to demonstrate that. But I’m pretty sure that in all of those examples people had either made deals with the devil or were the devil, and all this marquee says is:
Never give the devil a ride. If you do he’ll want to drive.
I don't know...he looks pretty friendly to me and I'll bet he tells great stories. He might pitch in for gas, too.
Is that really a good enough reason to pass the devil by if I see him hitchhiking? I mean first of all, think of the stories he could tell: epic battles in the war of heaven (Pope John XXI estimated the size of the devil’s forces in that war as 133,306,668, with team heaven fielding twice that number: sounds more exciting than the battle scenes in 300. By the way though, who the hell makes an estimate ending in 8? It’s an estimate. Round up, for god’s sake!), what it was like falling from heaven to earth (and did that hurt bad, or was he wearing some kind of parachute?), the construction problems while be was building hell, the look Jerry Falwell’s fat face when he found out where he was going to be hanging for eternity….sounds really entertaining actually. Plus, I don’t mind taking a break from driving now and then. So I’m thinking that as long as he doesn’t fart too much with the windows up, I’m good with it.
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Comments 9
I chuckle. I guess he would have some tall tales to tell. You’d a thunk?
Posted 28 Jun 2008 at 8:24 am ¶All really good points, I must say. Besides, if something goes wrong during the ride, I’m sure Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy will bail me out.
Posted 28 Jun 2008 at 9:35 am ¶Teresa: What a great point - I hadn’t even thought of that! Not to mention that everywhere I go there’s an angel on my shoulder PLUS god is my co-pilot (he’d have to climb in back though.)
Posted 28 Jun 2008 at 11:04 am ¶I hear god makes an obnoxious back-seat driver…always thinks he’s right.
Posted 28 Jun 2008 at 3:26 pm ¶This reminds me of the “HELL IS REAL” billboards plastered down I71 in Ohio.
Check them out : http://digg.com/odd_stuff/We_re_on_a_Mission_from_God_You_Others_Will_Burn_in_Hell
I can always tell when I’m getting close to the Kentucky/Ohio border as soon as I see these! ‘Nuff said…
Posted 29 Jun 2008 at 9:40 am ¶Ally: And here I thought hell was for children.
Posted 29 Jun 2008 at 11:43 am ¶OMG! What makes this reference even funnier is that Pat Benatar was supposedly inspired to write this song by reading a series of articles in the New York Times about child abuse in America…Hmmm, is there a connection between priests and child abuse? Creepy…I just got goosebumps.
Posted 29 Jun 2008 at 12:45 pm ¶Wait. Pat Benatar reads. So that explains how she heard about the casting call for Les Miserables.
Posted 29 Jun 2008 at 1:04 pm ¶Ouch! But then again, those videos are from when MTV actually played music videos instead of pawning off “bubble-gummy VJ’s” as entertainment. Whatever happened to “Downtown Julie Brown” anyway?
Posted 29 Jun 2008 at 2:55 pm ¶Trackbacks & Pingbacks 1
[...] posting yet two more advertisements from the church down the block. I’ve mentioned two others here and here, but these two are all kinds of [...]
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