I really like Rush. Not that stuff in a tiny bottle that was popular in discos and the gay community and had names like Locker Room (there’s an evocative name) and Bolt and (obviously) Rush. That shit is amyl nitrate, and I have neither tried it nor wanted to. In fact, the thought of it repels me mightily. The idea of horking chemical vapors into my lungs has always completely grossed me out, with the notable exception of whippets, which not only cause well-documented space-travel effects, but also apparently cause a tear in the time/space continuum. I know this because in back in college I was in my down-the-hall-neighbor Elliot’s dorm room when my friend Eric inhaled a wee bit too much nitrous, turned red, made a hilarious high pitched whine and fell over, crashing into a desk and causing an unopened bottle of Miller beer to slide to the floor, under a bed, and into another dimension. The beer was never recovered. Ever. This considerably upset Elliot who had been given the bottle by Andy Partridge of the awesome XTC - which explains why it was unopened as well as why Elliot dove for the bottle, and not Eric.
In high school I did have the unpleasant experience of having an ammonia ampule cracked under my nose after passing out in a dentist chair from pain and epinephrine o.d. during a root canal. I woke up gagging and saying “what is that shit?” while I pushed the dentist’s arm the fuck away from my face. That experience may well explain why I am not only repelled by the idea of inhalants, but kind of creeped out by them.
Then too there are those “Special Reports” on the news, or (worse) on the news-magazine shows. Crap-fests they put together during sweeps weeks with really sad and pathetic people inhaling spray paint out of brown paper bags after explaining why gold and silver are the best. They take the bag away from their faces and have a huge ring of gold paint around their mouth and all I’m thinking is “on what planet does this look like a good idea?” and I start feeling all uncomfortable and squeamish and really bad for the poor bastard. Amyl nitrate, glue, gas, paint; it’s all the same horrible shit to me, which by the way some kids are huffing now. And no, I’m completely not kidding. There are already slang terms for it including “Runners”, “Leroy Jenkems”(???) and of course “Butthash” (why does this stuff always seem to happen in Florida?)
By the way, amyl nitrate actually does have medical applications beyond relaxing “smooth muscles” (yes, that’s an actual medical term - look it up and see what in includes). It can be used for treating angina, which I mention merely to be able to write the word “angina”. I’m assuming though that the medical community calls it something else, because no one could keep it together after hearing the words “doctor, I’ve got acute angina and need a locker room for it.”
So the Rush I’m talking about, the Rush I like, is the band. Rush is probably the only band that can pull of monumentally cheesy lyrics like these, from “The Spirit of Radio”:
Off on your way, hit the open road
There is magic at your fingers
For the Spirit ever lingers
Undemanding contact in your happy solitude
or these tasty Velveeta chunks from “Closer To The Heart”:
You can be the captain
I will draw the chart
Sailing into destiny
Closer to the heart
or a ridiculous song title like “The Temples of Syrinx” (really? you really want to name it that?) and still be ridiculously cool. Those “Closer To The Heart” lyrics remind me of Styx for godsakes, but I still turn it way up it every time I hear it (”Closer To The Heart”, not Styx - though “Come Sail Away” does have its charm; I just wouldn’t pull up to a stoplight with it cranked because I hate the thought of the soccer mom in the Hybrid SUV over there thinking I’m uncool. I never liked that monument to suck, “Mr. Roboto”)
The thing about “Closer To The Heart” though, is this: I’m thinking someone must have given (Rush drummer and idol of millions) Neal Peart a shiny new vibraslap right before they cut that tune, because he abuses that thing like Eddie Murphy working his unit at a tranny porno site.
Not that I have a problem with vibraslaps (or Eddie Murphy, or transvestites). And really, it is Neal Peart - so he’s allowed to have a few bombastic transgressions. But it’s a little over the top. Really.
Wanna know one other great thing about Rush? A cassette of Permanent Waves almost got me laid on a train from Germany to France. But that’s another story.
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Comments 9
(this is actually an excerpt from an email I sent to Joanna after seeing a blurb from this blog post in the side column of The Soap Bar … )
I think I was the only girl in my high school who was obsessed with the band Rush. I’ve seen them about 5 or 6 times, often dragging my non-Rush fan girlfriends with me. It started out as a curiosity thing. I had a crush on a boy at school who wore a Rush patch on his jean jacket. I started listening to them to try to impress said boy. But then I discovered how amazing they were! Part of the reason I wanted to study graphic design was because of Hugh Syme, the artist who did most of their album covers (translation: I’m a BIG NERD)
My knowledge of useless Rush trivia continues today. I recently took one of those silly online quizzes about random things (I am an expert on 4 things: the movie JAWS, Pee Wee Herman, the Beastie Boys, and Rush) and I scored 100% on the Rush quiz! Jere, my boyfriend, feigned enthusiasm for me. His band obsession is They Might Be Giants.
Posted 14 Jun 2008 at 4:11 pm ¶A rush geek I am not, though I’m always interested in useless trivia (as I mentioned in this post, I am an information slut.)
They do have an odd hold over me though: I rarely get tired of them, almost always turn it way up and sing along with what lyrics I’ve made out, and I’ll forgive them all kinds of silliness. Also, my kids are starting to dig them, with Desmond loving The Spirit of Radio, Red Barchetta and a few more, and now wanting to grow his hair as long as Geddy Lee’s. Hopefully his choice in clothing will be better though - Joanna and I watched the “Closer To The Heart” video recently and she says to me: “Is Geddy Lee wearing his mom’s robe?”
Please pass along the single best piece of useless Rush trivia you have.
As an aside, there was a time in my life (prior to the release of “Let’s Dance”, so figure up until 1982) when if you named any Bowie song, I could tell you the album, side, track number, and year of release.
Posted 14 Jun 2008 at 6:26 pm ¶You might know some of these things, but here goes:
The band’s 1st drummer (his only appearance was on the self titled album), John Rutsy, quit. He felt that they weren’t going places. (I mean, after Working Man, how can there be any doubt? I still love that song!)
Rush opened for KISS in the 1970s.
Alex Lifeson is an avid pilot.
Geddy Lee is a HUGE baseball fan. I see him behind home plate during Blue Jays games.
Geddy Lee’s real name is Gary. His mom, a Polish immigrant (I believe) pronounced his name as Geddy and it stuck amongst his friends.
Both Geddy and Alex grew up together. (I sometimes wonder if there really is a Lakeside Park anywhere, but it would probably be part of Neal’s past since he was writing all the lyrics at that point. You wanna talk about cheesy.)
Geddy Lee’s son (or one of their sons, but I think it was Geddy’s) appears in the Distant Early Warning video riding the missile. Or was that Manhattan Project? No, no, no, that was the animated video with the cartoon scientists.
Cheesy lyrics, they are, but when you’re 13 years old, “Be cool or be cast out” is some kind of anthem. I used a Rush quote in my yearbook, you know, to make a point and teach all of my fellow graduates a lesson. Something about social subdivisions. I’m sure everyone just shrugged and said, “Figures.”
Desmond picked some good ones! Joanna’s comment about the robe is HILARIOUS!
Posted 15 Jun 2008 at 9:01 am ¶Be cool or be cast out is still pretty good, even if it isn’t the most subtle lyric I’ve ever read. My favorite trivia though is where Geddy came from - that’s a great story.
And it’s good to hear you wanted to teach your fellow graduates a little something. I know I’m always interested in learning new things, particularly from 18-year-old Rush fanatics. As an aside, I quoted Barney Rubble on my page.
Posted 15 Jun 2008 at 9:56 pm ¶OK, guilty as well. Bought the self titled album as a “cut out” (remember those) at a local record shop (remember those) in Brooklyn circa 1977 and proceeded to play the grooves off it. Saw them open for Blue Oyster Cult at the Nassua Coliseum with David Woodfin when I was 15 and they were pretty damn amazing.
Posted 15 Jun 2008 at 10:18 pm ¶My son is totally into Rush and Joe Jackson. Not Huffing and Michael Jackson. Phew.
Posted 16 Jun 2008 at 4:55 pm ¶Brad. Shut up.
Posted 16 Jun 2008 at 4:55 pm ¶What? What could I possible be thinking of? I have no idea what you are yelling at me about, but I’m not thrilled……
Posted 18 Jun 2008 at 3:07 pm ¶stop it, you.
Posted 20 Jun 2008 at 9:16 pm ¶Post a Comment