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October 3, 2008 – 4:08 pm

Once And For All: I Am Not A “Computer Guy.”

And I don’t do websites, either.

Let me clear this up right here.  I don’t fucking build websites.  I’m not a coder, I’m not a designer.  But apparently, since once upon a time I started and ran a company that did that (pretty damn well, too, if I do say so myself,) and since I designed the Product Body brand and labels and built the Product Body website (and a few others, admittedly) people think that’s what I do. But it’s not. It’s really not.

 

O.K., yeah. It looks pretty bitchin'. But I did it under duress.

O.K., yeah. It looks pretty bitchin'. But I did it under duress.

I did that work because I had to do that work.  I knew what I wanted the end result to be and I beat my head against a wall for a long time until it got close enough that I didn’t want to jump in front of a train every time I looked at it.  I moved graphics around, consulted with Joanna and friends, and kept tweaking stuff.  I took code apart, looked at it line by line, and used (my occasionally pathetically faulty) logic to figure out how to change it to make it do what I wanted.  Or get it close at least.  But design and coding? It’s just not what I’m good at, and I find it highly unpleasant.

 

And that’s not only because of the things I’m not good at, but because of the things I AM good at.  Like brand consulting, copywriting, business consulting, and knowing what works and what doesn’t.  Which makes me both the guy that designed/built our site and designed the packaging AND they guy that sits in judgement of the guy that designed/built our site as well as designed the packaging.  And that guy, the designing guy that is, doesn’t do work up to the standards of the sit-in-judgment guy. Which pisses the judgement guy off and makes the design guy feel like a douche.

 

The demanding me berating the pathetic, not-good-enough me. No fun at all for either me.

The demanding me berating the pathetic, not-good-enough me. No fun at all for either me.

Since they’re both me I just end up duking it out with myself.   Which is not fun, I tell you what.  I’m not saying the Product Body site and the brand design is crap, it isn’t.  But it’s not good enough for the judgement guy.  The copywriting though, that I’m pretty happy with; even proud of.

 

Point is, no matter how many fucking times I try and explain this to people, they still keep asking me if I want to design a site for them, or write some code, or do some “computer guy” thing because “you’re a computer guy, right?”  I suppose the offers are nice, and I’m quite sure that people are trying to be nice and supportive and all that crap, and I’m not trying to sound ungrateful for the offers, but NO I fucking do NOT want to design your site, nor do I want to build your site.  Because that’s not what I do, and it’s not what I CAN do.  And frankly, it just reminds me of how shitty I am at it every time someone asks me to do it and I have to explain how shitty I am at it.

Now if you want me to manage production on a site, or a record, or an advertisment, or a television show, or a new brand, or an old brand, or pretty much any sort of project, I’m your man.  Because that I KICK ASS at.

I’m just not a computer guy.

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Comments 13

  1. Teresa wrote:

    I’m laughing my you-know-what off at your “demanding me vs. pathetic me” photos.

    So, Brad, can you please design my new website?

    *ducking the chair you just threw at me*

    Posted 03 Oct 2008 at 7:44 pm
  2. joanna wrote:

    I know you feel this pain. It is totally valid. I wish someone would offer you a kick ass creative position where your talents and abilities would be utilized because clearly working with me is frustrating and wasting away not using your talents. Sorry babe. :(

    Posted 04 Oct 2008 at 7:47 am
  3. Teresa wrote:

    Hey, man, I didn’t realize your pain was that deep or I wouldn’t have joked along. I have confidence that your multitude of talents will be recognized widely - just have to go out and brag more about yourself more often!

    Posted 04 Oct 2008 at 9:44 am
  4. Brad wrote:

    Jo, while I appreciate the support, you’re making me sound wimpy with all the pain this, and valid that. I love you Jo, but save that talk for the hippies. :-)

    Besides, you utilize my REAL talents all the time. If you know what I mean. And I think that you do.

    Posted 04 Oct 2008 at 9:48 am
  5. Brad wrote:

    See what you did Joanna? Jesus, now I have to smack you around again. Look what Teresa wrote while I was posting my comment…..

    Teresa, you were totally on the mark joking around, if you hadn’t I would have had to smack you around too, which after I take care of Jo I’d have been too tired to do, so thank goodness.

    I mean, it does irritate the SHIT out of me, (the content of my post, not having you tease me) and I’d rather be doing something I really love to be doing and feel like I do well, but that doesn’t change the fact that it’s still me just bitching about what irritates me, and trying to do it without sounding too much like a whiner.

    Posted 04 Oct 2008 at 9:54 am
  6. Teresa wrote:

    Oh so, you’re going to smack me AFTER you already threw that chair at me? You’d better not, or Jo will start to feel jealous! ;D

    Ok, cool…I’ll go back to LOL @ your photos. Hey, has anyone ever told you you look like that guy who plays Jayne on Firefly? (damn, can’t remember his name…gotta go take my fish pills or send Igor to the graveyard again)

    Posted 04 Oct 2008 at 10:01 am
  7. Brad wrote:

    Nope. But then, what the fuck is Firefly?

    Posted 04 Oct 2008 at 10:33 am
  8. Teresa wrote:

    You’ve been to Firefly Mom’s blog and not seen the Firefly stuff all over it?

    2 words: Joss Whedon. I think you’d like Firefly. According to a review of it in Backwoods Home, it’s kinda like libertarians in space.

    Posted 04 Oct 2008 at 10:42 am
  9. Teresa wrote:

    Oh, sorry…still didn’t quite explain it. It’s a sci-fi TV series that ran for about 4 episodes and was cancelled but which now has a humongous cult following.

    Posted 04 Oct 2008 at 10:44 am
  10. Joanna wrote:

    Go get a job, bitch!

    ;)

    Posted 05 Oct 2008 at 8:31 am
  11. Teresa wrote:

    I’m trying to…will you hire me?? I don’t do computers or codes….

    Posted 05 Oct 2008 at 12:54 pm
  12. Joanna wrote:

    I was talking to Brad, Teresa…hahaaha, I would never call you a bitch. Bitch is a good name for Brad though. It sometimes puts him in his place. Keep that for later use….X-)

    Posted 05 Oct 2008 at 5:10 pm
  13. Teresa wrote:

    I thought we knew each other well enough that you could call me names and I wouldn’t be insulted; I’ve certainly been called worse - not usually to my face though…heh heh. 8-]

    Posted 05 Oct 2008 at 6:19 pm

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