Bone In The Fan

Because I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and gosh darn it I like me!

I swore I wasn’t going to do a political post today because really, how fucking typical would that be?  But I did go vote for myself (proof below), so I figure it deserves at least a short note.

My 2008 Florida ballot. You can click on it for a larger, legible version.

If you were to click on that ballot to get a better look, you’d notice a few of things:

1. They’ve changed how we vote down here again.  This time it’s completely idiot proof.  No chads, no computer screens, and a paper trail.  They even make you do a demo in front of the election official to prove you are able to connect two blocks together with a magic marker.  In hindsight I wish I’d pretended to just not understand: stand there and keep repeating “wait, what am I supposed to do?” and maybe connect my name with the page number. But I always think of that stuff too late and my balls are just too small anyway, so I played it like a good citizen and showed them I knew how to vote.  When you’re done connecting the little lines, you feed the entire ballot into a machine that shreds it and changes the vote to whomever the the Freemasons have decreed wins this year.
2. I don’t vote in elections that I don’t know anything about.  If everyone is like me, I’m going to lose pretty big.  Thankfully most people aren’t, so I have a minuscule chance at this thing (we found out today that a friend’s mom who had no idea of who I was had already voted for me because my name was first on the list.  Woo Hoo!)
3. I live in a swing state. I voted for Barr.  Live with it.

Tonight I’ll get to watch my name scroll by on TV.  There will be a number next to it.  I hope there are more than 2 digits in that number.

Letcha know tomorrow.

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