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September 1, 2008 – 10:20 am

Storms, Fear and Lazy English. Terrible Side Effects Of Gustav and Hanna.

Hurricane Season Brings More Than Rain

It’s hurricane season again (has been if Florida for a while now) which means three things:

  1. Every television station in the south runs scaaaaarrrryyy promos about the latest burp in the weather off the coast of Africa so that you’ll “Tune In At ELEVEN!”
  2. People suffering from the whole a-little-knowledge-can-be-a-bad-thing syndrome will be telling us that either a) “This is due to global warming!” and “We broke the earth!” or b) “It’s the end of days people, Jesus is coming and you’ll all be judged.”
  3. That you’re going to hear way too much of the word hunker in every variation: “We’re gonna hunker down,” “They’ve hunkered down,” “I’m just hunkering down,” “Hey you! Hunker down! Hunker down!” etc.

I’d argue that the first is irritating (though every time they talk about a tropical depression I think of Anna Nicole Smith - ohhh…too soon?) and the second is annoying, but the third is the worst of the bunch.

Some people chose to leave rather than suffer the indignity of hunkering.

Many chose to leave New Orleans rather than suffer the indignity of hunkering.

I hate the word hunker.  Hunker.  Hunker.  Hunkered.  Hunkering.  Hunkerer. Is it really that hard to think of alternatives?  Like for instance, “we’re going to stay inside now,” or “we’ll just keep out of the storm,” or “I’m not going out in that shit, are you kidding me?” or “I’m lashing myself to the toilet in the basement - call me when it blows over.”  See?  There are four, just off the top of my head, and I’m not a fancy professional broadcaster like Al Roker.

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Comments 8

  1. Teresa wrote:

    You should suggest the alternative phrases to The Weather Channel folks who relish standing ouside (sideways often) in a storm babbling inanely. I’d love to hear Jim Cantore say, “I’m lashing myself to the toilet in the basement - call me when it blows over.”

    Posted 01 Sep 2008 at 12:57 pm
  2. joanna wrote:

    Hunker down sounds like someone is preparing to take a hearty poop

    Posted 01 Sep 2008 at 8:23 pm
  3. Teresa wrote:

    I’d never thought it of that way, Jo…now I’ll never be able to hear that word again without cracking up. And I’m not telling the boys about it because one a potty joke gets in the house, it’ll never leave.

    Posted 01 Sep 2008 at 8:59 pm
  4. Robey wrote:

    I can’t tall you how badly I wanted Ann Curry to blow off the roof of that parking garage. What exactly is the point of that?

    Posted 02 Sep 2008 at 1:17 pm
  5. Joanna wrote:

    Show offs, that’s what.

    “See how I am into my job? I’ll do anything for a story. You can’t replace me!”

    Posted 02 Sep 2008 at 7:39 pm
  6. Joe Baumgartner wrote:

    Brad….very funny…I always wanted to come back as a Weatherman, because while they tell us to “hunker down”, they get to go out and play in the 100 mph winds….lucky bastards

    Posted 02 Sep 2008 at 8:03 pm
  7. Brad wrote:

    Joe: during the first of the two vicious 2004 hurricanes down here I went outside in the middle of it in the 120 MPH winds. Naked.

    Posted 03 Sep 2008 at 10:44 pm
  8. Joanna wrote:

    true story

    Posted 04 Sep 2008 at 6:37 am

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