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May 25, 2008 – 4:27 pm

The Horror of 45

Is this is the look of a face that ripples? Apparently.

Is this is the look of a face that ripples? Apparently.

So I’m shaving today and I’m looking in the mirror (which is foggy as hell becuase I shave in the shower, and you can’t buy a good fogless mirror anywhere, and if you do it stops being fogless in about a day and that sucks because I hate shaving at the sink) and I notice this yellowish reflection moving across my chin as I run the razor along my jaw line.  I use a 1940’s brass Schick Injector razor (becuase it actually works, not because I’m trying to look cool, but it does look really cool) so the color of the reflection makes sense, but it looks kind of strange all the same.  I keep running the razor along in the same place and trying to work out where the light is coming from that would cause that reflection.  Like I said, the mirror is pretty ragged, so it’s tough to see what’s actually going on, but then it hits me that it might not be a reflection at all.   So I put the razor down move my index finger (which is not brass) along my jaw in the same place and get the same effect.

It’s a ripple of face is what it is.  Pushed along ahead of the razor like a wave pushed by the bow of a boat.  I turned 45 yesterday.  My face has fucking waves today.  This sucks.

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Comments 8

  1. carrie wrote:

    Intended for the posting of “The Horror of 45″~

    By your pic…you should hardly think of yourself at 45 in the same sentence as “Horror.” :)

    BUT lots of us have been there & know exactly what you mean. It’s called “gravity”~ BUT you- simply you’re not quite there yet….I’ll give you a hint~ “Dad can I take the car out?”

    Now to be honest~ I’d love to guess your profession. Ummm…let’s see~ I’ll give it a shot…something in Communications i.e. PR, speech writer, spokesperson, ficiton writer, copywriter? Am I close? It really doesn’t matter~ I’m just curious.

    Okay~ you see where this is going? I remember your blog review you wrote for Joanna~ it was a hysterical read. Period.

    So in the meantime~ great to keep us guessing.

    Posted 26 May 2008 at 8:39 pm
  2. mindi wrote:

    I love you, man - in that platonic, blog to blog kind of way, you know. You are hilarious and I’m looking forward to checking the blog often.

    Posted 27 May 2008 at 12:11 pm
  3. brad wrote:

    Carrie - you’re close on your guess - I do all the copywriting for Joanna’s company Product Body (labels, marketing, etc) but am not gainfully employed elsewhere and always looking for additional writing work. I have done some PR, I’ve written some advertising copy for print and radio, and I do write some fiction (I’m considering posting some here in fact).

    Mindi - I’m really glad you’ve enjoyed what I’ve written - you’re welcome at my place any time (in that platonic, blog to blog kind of way).

    Thanks both for your kind and supportive comments!

    Posted 27 May 2008 at 12:47 pm
  4. Lola wrote:

    I am waiting to read more stuff. I want to be kind and supportive too. Like the Jockstrap of friendship. Please don’t kill me.

    Posted 27 May 2008 at 5:15 pm
  5. brad wrote:

    I’m a boxer-briefs man. They provide support without making you look like a frat boy.

    Posted 28 May 2008 at 1:02 pm
  6. Teresa wrote:

    Oh fine, I just can’t beat other people’s wit, but I will wish you a belated happy birthday. I guess I’ll look for waves on my face next year… I’m glad I don’t shave my face.

    Posted 29 May 2008 at 7:39 pm
  7. brad wrote:

    Well feel free to look for waves on your legs!

    Posted 29 May 2008 at 8:42 pm
  8. Teresa wrote:

    Oh, poop, I’ve already got waves on my legs, and I blame you for making me look. Could you get Joanna to make me a scrub that will take care of it?

    Posted 30 May 2008 at 5:26 pm

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