The Palm Beach Post Profiles The Candidates (including yours truly)
The front page of the paper that will live in infamy. For my kids. For a day.
So as you might have read in this previous post, I’m running for a small local office here in Palm Beach County. And as I learned last week the Palm Beach Post publishes details of all the local races and candidates (I assume they do this in inverse order of importance, as we’re still a while away.) Sadly they refused to publish my plans for providing my constituents with free BBQ and naked chicks (or sensitive guys if you’re so inclined, and you know who you are,) but of course you can still read all about my promises here.
The Post did however publish basic profiles (and sexy headshots!) of each candidate, so today yesterday I got to see my own self up there with the people I’ll be bare-knuckle brawling with. I’m thinking a major TV campaign hinting at the age difference would work: this genius idea came to me right after my daughter looked at the photos this morning and said “of course you’ll win - they could die after getting elected.” Which when you think about it makes a damn good ad right there on its own. Anyway, I scanned the profiles:
Check my shit OUT, bitches!
I’m going to lose huge. But this is what I get in return (besides another fun experience in the quiver): I get to watch the election results on television this November 4th, and they’ll run that crawl along the bottom with all the local results, and I’ll get to see what percentage of people in this county vote for the first person listed on the ballot. Because I only know like 7 people down here.
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Comments 6
I’ll vote for you baby!
Posted 24 Sep 2008 at 5:31 am ¶“Vote Schmidt. It Doesn’t Start With W”
What are the odds that both of the other candidates last names start with W? even more so that your last starts with S and you still get to be first. I was also surprised that this elected position, comes with a salary? after four years of pain and agony you will almost make 10k. You think you will lose big, i have an idea you may have just signed up for a four year term. Once it gets out that Tom has a kiddie porn collection, and Patricia has been smoking crack…your in.
When is the debate scheduled?????
Posted 24 Sep 2008 at 10:01 am ¶What are the odds? Not as bad as you might think: there are 5 seats to run for on the commission. How do you think I picked the one I’m running for? Well, I guess that they’re BOTH “w” is a slight long shot. But “W”? Most people have had enough W by now, no?
Another benefit I mentioned is the fact that their names both have less letters. So if you’re for using letters, you’re for Brad!
Posted 24 Sep 2008 at 10:40 am ¶What’s the general age range of people that will be voting? Maybe younger people will naturally move to voting of the youngest person… you’ve at least got that going for you!
Posted 24 Sep 2008 at 12:58 pm ¶Heey, cool! Really. I’d definitely vote for someone on the Emergency Response Team; I know whose butt to watch (besides George Clooney’s).
Posted 24 Sep 2008 at 9:15 pm ¶I BELIEVE PEOPLE ARE LOOKING FOR NEW BLOOD AND YOU JUST MIGHT END UP WITH THIS JOB THAT PAYS NOTHING AND WILL REQUIRE TONS OF TIME, BUT YOU SHOULD HAVE IT IF YOU WANT IT. JUST HOPE THEY NEVER GET A LOOK AT “BONE IN THE FAN”. THEY MIGHT SEIZE AFTER READING THE MANY TENDER ARTICLES YOU WRITE.
Posted 09 Oct 2008 at 12:34 am ¶Trackbacks & Pingbacks 1
[...] that this was prompted by a (quite natural) fear response to seeing the uber-sexy photo of me that appeared in the Palm Beach Post. So last night I filled out the appropriate forms and sent them in, naming myself campaign [...]
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